Melania Tells Her Diary (and Us) What Advice She Has Been Giving Donald

Its been a long time since I (Melania) have been able to smuggle any of my diary out.  But Donny is now so preoccupied, that I can do so.

He even asked me what to do as President, and this is what I told him:

Fire the FBI director at a time that looks maximally suspicious.

After the whole Republic party and your staff has been pushing an explanation of the firing, go on NBC to deny that story.

In that interview be clear, if not explicit, that you were doing this because of the Russia investigation.

Hint that you were threatening the FBI director

Make sure that you and the FBI director are getting out different descriptions of the conversation, so as to make any record really important.

Have a meeting with Nixon protege Kissinger.

Meet with senior Russian officials.

Allow Russians to cover the meeting but not the US pool or press.

Hint that you have taping in the Oval office.

Make your spokesman refuse to confirm or deny that taping.

Threaten to abolish the press briefings.

Pretty good for one week. Huh?

Well, what am I up to?  You have to choose.

  1. I want him back in New York soon.
  2. I want him in jail so I get a great divorce outcome.
  3. I am trying to be helpful.
  4. He wants out and I promised to do the research and make suggestions.

p.s. I really enjoyed All the President’s Men.  My next project is to read The Final Days.  I also have Woman on the Edge of Time and Hamlet on my list.

Any additional research suggestions?

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Loneliest Place in Washington

According to Politico, Melania’s office is the loneliest place in the White House.

Maybe, but there are other candidates, at least for the loneliest place in Washington

Meeting of Republicans for Evidence-Based Policy (although that of Republicans for Policy-Based Evidence was standing room only.)

Lecture at RNC on Side Effects of Finasteride.

Lecture at Republican Caucus on John Kennedy’s Book Profiles in Courage.  (I had forgotten that these were all about courageous senators.)

Gathering at Dulles Airport of Detained Refugees for Trump.

And, there is always, back at the White House — Melania’s Bedroom!  (only kidding.)

Melania’s Diary #5: Back to Debate Prep, Maybe

Donny should be back to debate preparation.

He told Conway that he wants me to play Hilary in the mock session, because he finds putting me down so much fun.

Conway refused, so now Donny says no more preparation.

That’s why they managed to get the two moderators organizations bickering about who would ask which question.  Maybe it will get cancelled, they think.

Actually, I was really looking forward to the prep.  I called my lawyer to ask if my telling the debate prep room all my Donny stories would violate my confidentially pledge.  But they can not get the agreement.  Donny says it is under audit and they can see it later.

What a week.

 

Melania’s Diary #2: Updating my Resume With TV Show Coupling

Maybe now I can let the world know about my TV career.

Here I am on the BBC program Coupling, playing the wife of someone competing with regular Patrick for having the most attractive wife.  (The two other women are also “competing” for who is to pretend to be the even more attractive fake wife of Patrick.)

Yes, and I got to wear my hair in its natural color.

Donnie refused to play Ivan, my husband.  Donnie said he was too much of a looser.

Melania’s Diary #1: I did it, I had to do it, I am Proud

Private Eye , the British satire magazine, had long had feature called Mrs (PM) Diary, purporting to be the diary of the prime minister’s wife.  Now the Guardian is doing it.

So, Melania’s Diary seems to be an irresistible project.  We found this one in the trash at Cleveland airport.

No one must ever read this. 

It’s been getting harder and harder and scarier for me, to think about Donny as President.  I’d hate to think what my parents thought about how he talks about people outside the US.

So, I wanted to pay homage to Michelle, to write something that was non-racist.  So I did it.  I can not tell anybody.  But I am quietly proud.

 I wonder if anyone will figure out that that is why I made a big thing that I had written it.  If they do, I will deny it. 

How else could I live with myself.  I can not say anything, because of the non-disclosures in our pre-nup.

This blog wonders if we will find anything else in the trash.

Additional Note from the Editor: (July 20, 2016)

The following quote appears in the New York Times from Ms Trump’s speechwriter.  It is, in fact, fully consistent with the found diary entry,

“In working with Melania on her recent first lady speech, we discussed many people who inspired her and messages she wanted to share with the American people,” Ms. McIver wrote.

 
Document: Trump Aide’s Statement on Melania Trump’s Speech
“A person she has always liked is Michelle Obama,” she added.

“Over the phone,” Ms. Trump “read me some passages from Mrs. Obama’s speech as examples. I wrote them down and later included some of the phrasing in the draft that ultimately became the final speech. I did not check Mrs. Obama’s speeches. This was my mistake and I feel terrible for the chaos I have caused Melania and the Trumps as well as to Mrs. Obama. No harm was meant.”