Melania Tells Her Diary (and Us) What Advice She Has Been Giving Donald

Its been a long time since I (Melania) have been able to smuggle any of my diary out.  But Donny is now so preoccupied, that I can do so.

He even asked me what to do as President, and this is what I told him:

Fire the FBI director at a time that looks maximally suspicious.

After the whole Republic party and your staff has been pushing an explanation of the firing, go on NBC to deny that story.

In that interview be clear, if not explicit, that you were doing this because of the Russia investigation.

Hint that you were threatening the FBI director

Make sure that you and the FBI director are getting out different descriptions of the conversation, so as to make any record really important.

Have a meeting with Nixon protege Kissinger.

Meet with senior Russian officials.

Allow Russians to cover the meeting but not the US pool or press.

Hint that you have taping in the Oval office.

Make your spokesman refuse to confirm or deny that taping.

Threaten to abolish the press briefings.

Pretty good for one week. Huh?

Well, what am I up to?  You have to choose.

  1. I want him back in New York soon.
  2. I want him in jail so I get a great divorce outcome.
  3. I am trying to be helpful.
  4. He wants out and I promised to do the research and make suggestions.

p.s. I really enjoyed All the President’s Men.  My next project is to read The Final Days.  I also have Woman on the Edge of Time and Hamlet on my list.

Any additional research suggestions?

Trump and Python Go Together Again — Brave, Brave, Sir Donald

Its hard not to see the Trump presidency as a full time Monty Python marketing campaign.

I feel particularly bad for the US Navy here, they have to do what they are told.

But I can not avoid combining the Washington Post headline below and the scene from the Holy Grail, that clearly references our national leadership, “Brave Sir Donald” — particularly the last 30 seconds or so.

Despite talk of a military strike, Trump’s ‘armada’ actually sailed away from Korea

A New Thing to Blame Obamacare for — It Cannot Be Repealed

They have not get there yet, but now that the Republicans are finding just how really, really hard it is to repeal Obamacare, its only a matter of time before they start explaining that the worst thing about Obamacare is that has been written to make it hard to repeal.

Some of the reasons:

It was built so that people would like it — how unfair can you get!

It was built to save money — outrageous.

It reduces stress on state budgets — inconsistent with Federal policy.

It gives people choice — worse and worse.

It advances public health — not a government function.

It cleverly removes the donut hole — what a disaster!

You have to agree that a program designed to give people what they want is clearly unfair to the political process, threatens the Republic and serves all those “takers.

You also have to agree that if we are not careful, the same people will come up with a tax cut that helps those who are not rich, will help people get childcare, control campaign contributions, and expand access to education.

What a nightmare.

Loneliest Place in Washington

According to Politico, Melania’s office is the loneliest place in the White House.

Maybe, but there are other candidates, at least for the loneliest place in Washington

Meeting of Republicans for Evidence-Based Policy (although that of Republicans for Policy-Based Evidence was standing room only.)

Lecture at RNC on Side Effects of Finasteride.

Lecture at Republican Caucus on John Kennedy’s Book Profiles in Courage.  (I had forgotten that these were all about courageous senators.)

Gathering at Dulles Airport of Detained Refugees for Trump.

And, there is always, back at the White House — Melania’s Bedroom!  (only kidding.)

Scenes From Three Trimesters On — And Beyond

Three Trimesters on:

Scene:  Sibley hospital (Northwest DC) maternity ward.  It is so full that women are delivering babies in the corridors.  One midwife asks another, “Is this a product of confidence in the future last January 20, or a desperate desire to avoid the present last January 20.”  The other replies:  “Well, why do you think the babies are all wearing pink hats, even the boys?”

Three Years on:

Scene:  Georgetown Day Care Program.  October 2020.  Kids running around.  One teacher to another, “Why are none of the parents of these kids picking them up themselves?”  The other replies, “Because they are in Ohio, Florida, and Wisconsin.”  The first says, “And do not forget Texas.

Four Years From Today:

Scene:  Fox TV Feed.  One announcer, “a huge number of parents have brought kids, and they all seem to be three year olds.”  Reply, “But why on earth are they wearing pink hats, even the boys, its shocking.”  Reply, “No idea.”

And so on.

Forty Years on:

TV Feed.  The President-Elect is coming out of the Capitol now for the ceremony.  She is wearing a pink hat.  Amazing that 40 years ago she was born here in North West DC at Sibley Hospital.

Eighty years on:

TV Feed.  “The President-Elect is coming out of the Capitol now for the ceremony.  He is wearing a pink hat.  Amazing that 80 years ago his grandmother was born here in North West DC at Sibley Hospital.  (No its not a dynasty, he is not a relative of any prior President.”)

Nixon’s Watergate Tweets Discovered

The back story is a bit unclear, but it turns out that Donald Trump will not be the first President to have used Twitter.  In fact, Trump and his staff have found that Richard Nixon was tweeting throughout all of Watergate.  Trump believes that making this public will help show how presidential he, Trump is, so with the help of the NSA all the preserved tweets are slowly being released.

Here are some of those which show how much he used twitter to rehearse later statements.

NOT A CROOK!!!!!!!!!

Washington Post losers Going to put Katies tits through the wringer.

Arch Cox NOW history — Sad.

Dishonest Elliot Richardson OUT tomorrow.

Ruckelshouse worse — OUT.

Bork the GREATEST. On the way to SCOTUS!!!!!!!!! Huge.

Congressman Evidence.  So sad.

Jews very aggressive and abrasive and obnoxious.  [Compare.]

Jews into gas chambers in the Soviet Union not American concern. [Compare.]

No Jewish coming back from Vietnam on any of those lists; don’t know how the hell.  The Canadian-Swedish contingent,  Jewish. Deserters. Evil.  [Compare]

The President does it, not illegal. [Compare]

No. Not lying. Said things that later on seemed untrue. [Compare]

Seriously, the process of “tweetifying”Nixon into Trump is easily done by just removing all unnecessary words.   Additions to this list welcomed in the comments.  Links to Nixon quotes appreciated but not required.  “Very Easy.  Just the GREATEST.”